So you’ve finally have the partner of you dreams and have decided to move in together. NOW WHAT ??? Yes things do change after you live with someone (learned first hand), regardless of how long you have been with that person. This time it won’t be just you paying the bills, cooking, cleaning, coming home at what ever hour you feel like it because you can. As a couple living together, you both share personal space together: A bathroom, a bedroom, and a television. So before you decide to take this big step together ask your self the following:
1) Do I feel completely comfortable around this person: What if you partner is the type that likes to be naked all the time and only wear clothes when they are going out or have people coming over? What about those bathroom moments and I’m sure you know the ones I’m talking about.? Are you okay with having your phone conversations around your partner even if it’s just your mom or worse, your friends?
2) Cooking and Cleaning that’s a women’s job “WRONG”: Guys it’s okay to help your girl once in a while. Especially if you have something planned special for her, this would be the time to help to make the cleaning process go by faster and could be fun.
(I under no circumstance will ask for help because I have organizational issues and therefore if you can’t clean right the first time I will not be happy so I prefer to do all the cleaning, laundry, and putting away the laundry)
3) Sex Shouldn’t Change But Get Better: I can’t say this strongly enough but since this could be a step closer to marriage for some of you, be creative with sex or making love. Try new things whether it’s using food items, toys, playing games, new positions, or even foreplay. Your goal should be to please each other if you haven’t already been doing this your entire relationship. It’s okay to step our of your comfort zone!
While these are only some things to discuss these are important lessons to learn as well. Living with someone is no longer thinking about yourself which means take into consideration how your partner is feeling and help out when you can. I am sure your mother or father or who ever raised you, raised you to be respectful at least I hope they did!
Every now and then I come across a person who has inspired me to be a better person or has reminded me that I am already a great person but have forgotten that. A couple weeks ago I came across a post from a Man named Derrick Jackson or Jaxn as as he calls himself. The first thing you noticed about him is everything on the outside. His sexy yet serious appearance dressed in business attire. His eyes filled with so much information just waiting to flood all over a piece of paper. However, why was this person flooding my news feed like crazy. Most of it happen to be by females so I automatically assumed it was because he was sexy with a nice as body and memorizing eyes. At first I ignored it until I couldn’t take it anymore as another person posted the same image. I finally did what everyone else did and actually checked out his page. After reading his post about how he used to dress almost thug like to now what we would call business like I was shocked. I immediately went to his blog page and started reading his work. It was here that I learned he was so much more then just his looks and football, he was actually smart and could teach something to not only the male population but to the female population as well. He’s inspired bloggers and facebooker’s and twitters to let go of the standards that society has already set up for us and to become an individual. That its okay to still be a minority and be successful at the same time. That just because you are a celebrity doesn’t mean you are not human because after all you will still bleed the same and you should not be put above the average person. Most importantly he reminds those that are in relationships and those that are not, that there is always room for improvement. That guys and girls feel the same about break ups but show it a little differently. He also tells you what you don’t want to hear but what you need to hear. While I will never meet this inspiration, for those that do encounter his presence it is almost like a blessing. I just hope one day that more men and women will become like this especially in this day and age. Maybe one day he will think about opening up a center for kids who not only weren’t given the opportunity or chance because of how they look.
I feel like in today’s society, everyone has either forgotten who they really are or are just afraid to accept who they really are. Let me start by saying, Magazines and these reality tv shows such as America’s Next Top Model or Basketball Wives or Love and Hip-Hop do not help either. You have these girls that look like they’ve had more plastic surgery then the next and wear more makeup which probably took a good hour to apply. I have never see these shows but I have seen pictures and know people that watch these shows. For those that read urban fiction like Eric Jerome Dickey (GUILTY) STOP comparing every character to what you want in a partner. Its called fiction for a reason, people like this don’t really exist and if they do they will find you but looking for them isn’t going to help the situation but make it harder. If you can’t love yourself and accept what God created, then how do yo really expect anyone else to.
Me for Example: I’m 5’0″. So I already probably don’t meet some guys height requirement for those that have any. I mean I have a height requirement preferably anyone 5’8″ and taller. I mean If I am going to be wearing 3-4″ heels it would be nice if you are still taller then me. I do wonder how I turned out to be the shortest out of my family seeing how my dad is 6’3″. However, I have learned to embrace my shortness by reminding myself that the best things come in small packages.
Secondly after having 2 kids I only weigh 100 pounds. I don’t have the perfect body that guys drool over. I am very little yet this doesn’t bother me anymore. I’ll admit it use to because who doesn’t want a perfect body but would I really be happy with it?
So for all those that don’t love your image or think your beautiful change your mindset. You are beautiful regardless if you weigh 100, 200, or 300 pounds. Happen to be 4’2″ or 7’3″. Being beautiful is all the things you have to offer and the knowledge you have. I mean would you want to be with a dime who is money hungry or chasing hoes? Or would you rather be with an average looking person who not only shows you how much you mean to them, but doesn’t mind letting the rest of the world know?
Have you ever had a day where it seems every possible bad thing that could go wrong has. You never heard your alarm go off, you can’t find your keys, you locked your keys in the car, u miss lunch time, your partner breaks up with you? Did you ever stop, take a deep breath and once thank the person that woke you up this morning. I think as Americans we forget how to just breathe and say thank you. We begin to rely on technology and everyone else that we forget how to actually live.
In other countries, families are worrying about whether they can keep thfreir newborn child or not, if a child will be sold.today just so a family can eat, if a teenager female has finally hit puberity just so she can be circumsized. In America, some are worrying how they are going to pay their electricity or hot water, if their family gets to eat today, or pray that it won’t rain as they find a place to sleep tonight whether it be under a bridge or behind a building away from what could be potenial harm.
Yes I know everyone is human which means we can get caught up in our day to day lives and sometimes forget that there are worse people off then us, but just never allow it to take over your life. I’ve been on both sides of road and while scared most of the time, I’m happy it happened. I was reminded just how lucky I was to wake up. Sometimes counting your blessings can remind us of just that.
I was hoping my first post wouldn’t be of me venting, but tonight is just one of those nights. While I am only 23, I do think my mindset is not like most. It could be how I wad raised or just experience.
1) What is wrong with today’s generation: How and why are parents allowing their teens to walk out the house half naked.
Ladies I understand its hot outside but we don’t need to see your butt cheeks hanging out from your shorts or skirt that could possibly fit my almost 2 year old daughter. You also don’t need to wear shirts that stop under your breasts to show off your dangly belly ring or tattoo. I understand your young, I was young to, but that’s not the way to find a good boyfriend. God didn’t create you to be meat for all guys to see but to be loved and respected by that special one regardless of being covered up and not following the rest of your friends. Its okay to be an individual, afterall no one said it better the Trip Lee “We weren’t created to be robots.”
Boys what is three purpose of sagging your pants. I don’t think we need to see your underware. If you knew the true meaning of “sagging” would you still do it. Also how is wearing jeans that stop at your ankles considered shorts, your better off just wearing jeans.
2) Cussing: Why does everyone feel this is cute. I mean I am no angel and you would have to get me really mad to hear me cuss, but to hear it in every sentence or every 5th word is not cool or cute. You just sound stupid and in my opinion ghetto.
3) Manners: Was anyone raised with any? I mean is it so hard to say excuse me, thank you, you’re welcome, or even please. I always thought this was taught in school if not at home, and if so why throw it out the window as you get older. This is something that needs to be retaught in todays society.
4) Fighting: This isn’t cute. I don’t care how old you are, there are other ways to handle situations other then using your hands or weapons. I don’t know if I’m the only person who thinks this but I was akways taught and out of habit to respect anyone older then you regardless of age unless it is in self defense.
The two most important girls in my life